My Birth Experience

 Hello! I'm Lauren. Welcome to my Mommy Blog, where I share my personal experience as a first-time mom, just for fun. This post is about my birth experience, so it may contain some gory details that some audiences may not appreciate. Reader discretion advised. As always, this is my personal experience (my perspective and what I remember from it a month later), so please keep any comments respectful - and feel free to share your experiences as well!

My pregnancy was pretty much uneventful. No real issues, save for not being able to perform at my work later on in term. It was nice that my checkups were pretty straightforward. There was one scare in my third trimester that required an additional two-hour monitoring of my baby's heartrate because during the non-stress test, I guess she moved out of the monitor's range for 3 minutes and when she was monitored, her heartrate was in the 60s. At the time, after the additional monitoring, they said it was a blip and she must have moved out of the monitor's range, but with her being born and having a resting heartrate in the 60s, I wonder if it was accurate. Oh well, she's healthy now and that's all I care about. So, thankfully an uneventful pregnancy.

Christian and I had decided we wanted an unmedicated birth (well, I decided and Christian was supportive of my decisions 100% - he was happy and impressed that I decided to go unmedicated). We wanted the best for our baby with zero risks. I know epidurals are considered safe and they also offer fentanyl which is considered safe for baby as well, but there are always risks associated with them and we were unwilling to accept these risks. Any percent risk is not no risk, so as long as I could, I would go unmedicated. I also had someone in my life that had five unmedicated births and she was a strong believer that it was the way to go, so I decided to give it a try (I was nervous because I don't tolerate pain very well, at least I believe I don't).

I didn't really delve into the birth plan with my doctor all that much; I had a general idea of what I wanted, based on what I was reading and looking up. However, I will say that a lot of what I read online with how bad certain things are, I found really weren't that big of a deal (for instance: having an augmented labor with Pitocin was really not that bad for me, though to be fair, I don't have anything to compare it to, so I can't be the best judge on it; giving my newborn a pacifier did not create nipple confusion for my child; and giving birth on my back was not horrible, though I was turned on my hip a little bit so it may have been in an adequate position for my tailbone to move). Although I never had a formal discussion with my doctor about my birth plan, she did do things in the way I wanted, either due to hospital policy or because she was up to date on the best methods. I did speak some of my preferences during labor and they accommodated. I stated my desire to have an unmedicated birth to the nurses and when it was time to push, I told the doctor that I didn't want to be on my back (which, they still had me position mostly laying on my back, but I had my hips turned a little - and it all worked out smoothly). Overall, I appreciated what went down in the delivery room.

We went to the last scheduled doctor's appointment knowing that would be the day we had our baby. I had a few appointments within a few days' time because my fluids were low and my placenta was calcifying so they were monitoring me closely in the last few days. At my second-to last appointment, my fluids were low so we were offered three options: 1) go for additional all-day monitoring in the hospital with IV fluids; 2) go to the hospital and be induced that day which may take 24 hours or more for things to get moving enough to deliver; or 3) go home, drink plenty of fluids, rest, and come back in three days to check fluids again. Of course I chose option 3. With that appointment going as it did, we were prepared to go home with a baby at our next appointment, so it wasn't a surprise. Plus, while I was resting and drinking fluids, I started to have contractions 10 minutes apart (starting two days before my appointment/delivery day). At the last appointment, I pretty much had non-existent fluids, but the doctor said baby was still healthy. She told me she may be 6-7 pounds, based on what she could tell from the ultrasound, but she of course couldn't say for sure. I was just concerned about her being too small; we anticipated an 8 pound baby because both of her parents were around there.

We were taken to the delivery room and told to make ourselves comfortable. I wasn't really sure how to do that in a hospital with the anticipation of a big and painful event, but I did my best. I was shaking with nerves (and maybe some other hormones). I made the mistake of not having eaten breakfast, which was a huge mistake because I recall saying how hungry I was on several occasions during delivery. Christian had gotten me a chocolate shake (my favorite), but got so excited about the appointment he left before they gave him the breakfast sandwich that he ordered for me ;) I was a bit too anxious at my appointment to drink much of it, but once my doctor said we're getting augmented and no food or drink is allowed/recommended, I chugged my chocolate shake and hoped for the best. (I had asked her if I could get something to eat first and she discouraged it, but did give the approval for me to down my drink if I did it right then - I know you can go against the doctor's recommendation, but it was my first baby and I didn't want to go against the doctor's recommendation, just in case anything were to happen.)

I paced in the delivery room for a while and climbed in the bed when the nurse came in to hook up the external monitors. I texted my family that I was going to be augmented and leave the hospital with a baby; my mom requested an hourly update either via text or call and I rapidly declined that request, as I would be busy focusing on my delivery. I didn't give any further updates until Christian texted everyone a picture of our brand new baby, and even then I ignored my phone and focused on us. They placed the IV catheter in and started fluids. About two hours after entering the delivery room, they started the Pitocin.

Because I was nervous and my sister-in-law gave me a circuit to go through to help with the labor, I was moving around in the bed a lot. I'm sure I made things difficult for the nurses and monitoring the baby, but they were all very kind and readjusted the monitors to work in the position I was in. I even mentioned that I could change positions (I was in a downward facing dog position at the time because it felt right) and the nurse encouraged me to do what was comfortable, stating that she'll work around me. I appreciated that immensely. Some of the nursing staff even gave me a peanut ball to use upon Christian's request. When the contractions started getting bad (at 4 cm), I made Christian call my sister-in-law to see if she ever received Pitocin in her deliveries and find out how she coped. She had and she encouraged me to go through the circuit she sent me. Christian then helped me work through the circuit, telling me which position to go into and for how long.

Because I had fluids going into my veins, I needed to urinate semi-frequently. It started getting more difficult to walk around, so of course Christian was right there for me. At one point, I ran out of ice water and requested more. Christian was ready to go get me some, but I, perhaps a bit forcefully, said the nurse can do it because he needed to stay by my side. He had been coaching me and breathing with me, being the best advocate for me, and doing everything I didn't even know I needed. If I had a plan on what I wanted him to do during my delivery, I would have been disappointed - he was that amazing with knowing exactly how to support me. He encouraged  me to breathe, and when I didn't know how to do it on my own, he showed me how by breathing with me. At one point, we did a practice run between contractions because yes, it does get so intense that you forget how to breathe. 

One of the older nurses came in, as I'm moaning and groaning through contractions, and asked me why I didn't want medications. Christian and I had discussed this on numerous occasions throughout the pregnancy and we both felt great about not getting any drugs, so he knew what I wanted. I was busy dealing with the contractions and Christian was trying to advocate for my desires (I would guess while not trying to sound as if he's speaking for me, like it's his choice - it's my choice, he just knows what it is and can speak to it better than I could at the time because like I said, I was busy). Of course though, the nurse was talking to me so I had to answer. The only thing I could say, however, was: "Drugs are bad, 'mkay." The nurse proceeded to state that many people blame epidurals for issues, but they're very safe. In my mind though, I'm thinking, any risk is not no risk - and I'm unwilling to take on any risk. Christian knew my thoughts on the matter and attempted to relay it. I may have asked about the fentanyl because by this point, the part I couldn't bare, my body was pushing and they told me not to. The only reason I didn't get fentanyl at that point is because I worried the pain would get worse and the drugs would run out at the most inopportune moment - then I'd be blindsided by the pain instead of it gradually increasing in intensity. Sorry child of mine, but that's the real reason I declined fentanyl in my moment of weakness. The only other thing I could tell the rambling nurse was, "I'll think about it," to try to get her to stop talking about it.

This was also really the only moment I felt abashed by the nursing staff, when this nurse was trying to push drugs onto me, as if to say, 'shut up and take your medicine - you're being way too dramatic.' Yes, I was loud in my groaning through contractions, but I was allowed to express myself and release my pain/emotions. Christian afterwards reassured me, saying I was totally fine and that nurse was too pushy. He also mentioned, after the delivery, a few other things I wasn't aware about. During this time in delivery, he kept telling me to breathe and trying to get me to breathe. I thought I was, but apparently I wasn't because he told me (afterwards) that my face was pale and my lips were blue. He told me another nurse came in the room and immediately put an oxygen mask on me, which was absolute bliss and helped me immensely. He said that if the rambling nurse wasn't in the room, we would have been much better off. (Now I know that we can request nursing staff that support unmedicated births, so we'll be doing this if we have another child. Everyone else supported my unmedicated birth, but this one seemed to try to convince me to take drugs and didn't seem to care about my pain/blue lips unless I took drugs.) 

At one point, they took away my oxygen mask. I had requested it back at one point (or more), thinking, you want to give me drugs so much, my drug of choice is oxygen! But the nurse "explained" to me that oxygen is considered a drug [I know] and they need to monitor/restrict the amount given. I understood this and I know oxygen is poison, but if they were pushing drugs onto me, I'd take oxygen over fentanyl or an epidural. They didn't seem to follow my logic (even though this was an argument in my head because I was too focused to talk). They did begrudgingly allow me the oxygen mask again for a little bit, I think after the delivery. The mask felt different on my face and I asked for the first mask again. It was the same mask. I didn't believe them until Christian told me it was. For some reason, the first time felt like it had holes in it that made my wasted air easier to expel and the second time it felt like it was a closed mask (it was) that made me rebreathe my carbon dioxide. I guess I really didn't need it as much the second time.

When I told Christian that my body was pushing on its own, he called the nurse in and requested for them to check my status. They were hesitant to because of the risk of infection, but I was struggling. They did check and told me I was 7 centimeters (maybe about an hour after reporting 4 cm). They told me not to push and to breathe through the contractions. There was no physical way not to push; I kept asking them, "how not?" and they'd tell me to breathe. Like that helped. The doctor came in moments later and reported 9 cm and gave me the go ahead to push when I needed. If I had to suffer through one more pushing contraction where they told me not to push, I would have requested drugs - that was the only intolerable part that I couldn't bare. (I went through three excruciating rounds of these, each one causing the expulsion of some liquid - I thought urine but Christian says it wasn't and he didn't seem to notice it either, I think.) The rest was no picnic, but it was tolerable. I didn't want to tear, so I tried to listen to them when they told me not to push. (I still tore a little, the doctor said 2.) I couldn't 'breathe through it' so I screamed - but my body still pushed. When the doctor gave me the green light, she told me not to scream. I asked if I could (thinking I couldn't help it), but she said it was wasted effort. I did as she instructed and held my breath for 10 seconds to push.. I was thankful for the nurse's counting. With every push, I thought my baby was born, but she wasn't. It took 5 rounds of contractions where I was intentionally pushing with the contractions to deliver her. The first round or two of pushing, the doctor announced that she was in position. I wonder if the circuit I did helped move her into position faster. It was way faster than I initially thought it would take; I thought we'd be there all night and into the morning. From start to finish (being admitted in the delivery room to holding my baby), it took about 6-8 hours.

I had my eyes closed from the time my body started pushing (or before) until the doctor announced she was coming and told me to open my eyes. I didn't have my glasses on, so I saw what looked like a pale brain from a jar, which confused me - I thought she was the placenta and I knew that wasn't right. Then I saw the shape of her head (like a cone) and I worried about it until the doctor said that was normal and won't stay like that. I don't remember this, but Christian tells me I demanded for my baby to be on my chest three times and apparently I was pulling her towards me while the doctor told me she's still attached. Woops. I could feel the cord, but I paid it no mind. I did make a point to watch Christian cut the cord. The doctor invited him over and he skipped on over, a giant grin on his face as he snipped it. Delivering the placenta was easy; the doctor pretty much just pulled it out. I thought it was going to be another birthing ordeal. I'm glad it wasn't. The doctor offered to show us the placenta and we took her up on the offer. I didn't realize baby was inside the placenta. Very fascinating.

Also, let me just say that I'm the type of person that never wanted to be pregnant or go through the delivery process. I always wanted children and I love them, however the human body disgusts and embarrasses me (when it's my body - I've been a caretaker and I'm not embarrassed by other people's bodily functions), so I wanted to skip the whole pregnancy/birth thing and just have my baby in my arms. Once the pain of delivery hit, embarrassment goes out the window and the only thing you can focus on is getting through it. Now, I'm less embarrassed about my body, especially since I'm breastfeeding. Also the mom vibes are strong and the stereotypes are real. On like the second car ride she was on, someone nearly merged into us and I was prepared to knock that driver to the ground if she would have crashed into us. Thankfully my level-headed man was watching her too and maneuvered the car to avoid collision.

Overall, my birth experience was indeed magical - and I couldn't have done it without Christian by my side, supporting me better than I could have dreamed. His voice was the one that stood out in the delivery room. Everyone else was a whispering ghost. He breathed with me the way the doctor instructed, showing me how it's done. He relayed my desires when I couldn't find my voice. He fought for me when I needed something that the nursing staff wasn't giving me. He even took the first picture and notified everyone of our baby's birth. I couldn't imagine a more perfect, supportive partner.

I would 100% recommend an unmedicated birth if you're considering it. The process was quite fast, you're able to feel when you need to push, and personally I feel accomplished and I feel stronger than I did before. Now I know how much it will hurt (this was my biggest concern - I knew it would become way worse, but I didn't know by how much. They kept asking me my pain threshold and I would try to lowball it because when I wanted to say 6, I was worried it would go up to 20, so I said 4. Knowing what I do now, the only part that was a 15 pain (out of 10) was when my body was pushing, but they told me not to. Everything else was tolerable and indeed for me was about a 6 or 8). I especially feel pleased that I didn't expose my baby to drugs during delivery and now I know what I'm capable of. I know everyone has a different experience, so I'm just sharing my experience. If you're on the fence in deciding on an unmedicated birth, my experience was wonderful and I wouldn't do it any other way - especially since I had a partner that did more than support me every step of the way (from before baby was conceived to well after she's in our loving arms).

What they don't talk about after delivering a baby (coming soon).